it should have went down this way

Thursday, April 29, 2004

you dont know.

hello.

i am a pig i only sleep and eat. i am a bad girl i aint studying. i am tired. i want to sleep but i just woke up. i am having a paper tomorrow. i am going to burn the midnight oil. i hate busty women as well. its disgusting. thank you very much. i love myself and i love xuyan.

burning the midnight oill.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/29/2004 09:16:00 PM

but i do.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

you dont know.

hello. i feel so retarded. why is my twin so chio? nevermind. i am cute to make up for itt. yes. i repeat myself. i am cute to make up for it! yeaa. internet has been -screwed for who knows how long. and its depressing. i cant get into my msn and every other thing under the sun. ya. i am fagging unhappy for nuts. yeaa. aunt irene picked me, amelia and my sis. haha! we were talking in the car until she barely knew where she was going so she overshot and went to who fagging knows where. so yeaa. haha! lol aiya i dont know what to blog laa. yeaa. i wrote a letter to ziping. and i dont know why for nuts she didnt know iw as the writer. hahaha~ i am her secret admirer. asif. hahaha! very lame laa. stupid stuff. and maria made HL milk for me. oh so sweet ritee. i figureddd she's my sweetest most biggest buddy in the whole world. YAY~ i am thankful for her. i really amm. yeaa.

-candice twinnie. i cant tag your board for nuts! *cries and wails* its really funny to have an extremely chio twin with a cute twinn. haiz. anyway. i loovee my twinnie. for being a good twinnie. ((:

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/28/2004 09:04:00 PM

but i do.

Monday, April 26, 2004

you dont know.

why do i keep contradicting myself? i keep telling myself that i no longer see the need for her to be mine, but deep inside i am loving *her so deeply that i just cant seem to control myself. all i ever wanted from her was to be able to look at *her knowing that i have a friend in *her, now everything is going wrong. is it wrong for me to like *her
*[[picture perfect*

i just sat on a moth.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/26/2004 10:37:00 PM

but i do.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

you dont know.

yeaa. today was a lil taxing, i dont know why. yea. jun hao seriously did not understand what i said to them, i was like chauvinist. then jun hao tried to kick me then i said it again and he came to kick me, but i dont care, he is so weak. i am strong. too bad. :P haha! then i went to trim my hair. ya i look funny. its a lil pong haha. yeaa. updated new album yea. how i'd wish you had understand me a lil bit more, how'd i wish you we could friends or maybe more thatn that, how'd i wish i could let you know that i am missing you.now.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/25/2004 10:25:00 PM

but i do.

Saturday, April 24, 2004

you dont know.

well. the day was horrid AT FIRST.after that it got better till it became SOO GOOD.

yeaa. dragged myself out of bed even though i was so tired. lol. i woke up and my hair was all puffy and stuff. and i was already 45minutes late for training. yeaa. my parent came. gave me a life there. i played a few very good games. and of cos a few very bad. yeaa. me and meiyi were like ruling the courts haha. we beat kokono. that 1 was tiring i used the muscle power 66 yeaa. was good. i smashed well. yeaa. then it was embarassing to lose to the same guy with kokono, the score was something like 15-5 or 6, he won. and the scores were mostly i scored. i think she scored 2points? i dont know. urrgh.

----------

then went to long john laa.yeaa. ate and i got a message from pearleen, it went like this
-eh... i see shi ann in orchard...
so my natural instinct was to call back la. so i was like what's she doing there, pearleen said ohh selling flags, i was like where and pearleen told me orrhh isetan there ermm macdonalds there. yeaa. so i was there sitting eating my fries convincing irina to go down with me and so yeaa she agreed, so we got a cab and we headed off for town

----------

so we were in town yeaa. the cab was passing by isetan and i was like. WHERE'S SHE, WHERE'SHE?! so yeaa. we got off and i saw *XUYAN i was like. WHOAAHHand me and irina just walked passed her then i looked at her and she gave me this look, which makes people think that you've seen them before, yea so me and irina stepped in to the nike shop, she wanted to get her shoe bag. i thought she was joking lorr. but she did laa. she didnt buy though, then we walked to the escalator which leads to the cinema and stuff we saw another scgs girl so i was like. i dont know who to donate to, to *XUYAN or the other sc girl. so in the end i donated to the other sc girl, but fear not i donated a lil bit, and the rest was for *XUYANyeaaa. so me and irina walked back cos we didnt know what we were doing, then i gave irina ALOT of coins i asked her to donate to *XUYAN so yeaa. she did, if i knew i'd do it myself, and yea.. so i was with irina and she donated and guess what *XUYAN said. why so many coins wann? it was so cute lorr. yeaa. did i mention she has 2 moles on her face, surprising ehh. aha i didnt realised till now, i took a really quick but hard look. yeaa. then we went of the cine. and we went of by the wrong way, purposely. so we were like acting like we didnt know where it is, so we asked *XUYAN where it was and she was like ohh. you have to cross that traffic light and walk all the way down. her voice is just so heavenly.yea
then we cross the road then crosse back, yea.. we were about to walk to *XUYAN then i realised that i had to get a shirt for myself. so walked back then saw that other sc girl and i was like hi bye ahaha. and irina told me she was like dazed and she was blinking so much.. haha! its soo funny. went up couldnt find a shirt that i liked and fitted in, yeaa.. then yaa. so we walked back to *XUYAN there la. and i called germaine so i gaved the phone to irina to pass it to *XUYAN to talk to her (-i hid in some other shop-) and irina was like excuse me could you answer the phone and *XUYAN was like cannot then irina was like please and *XUYAN was no,no,no. and irina was like yes,yes,yes. and i saw you in the competition but i dont know you. and *XUYAN was like ermm.. no. i dont know you and irina started to kinda use a lil more force and *XUYAN was like i cannot take things from strangers.then she said that in a real friendly tone and with her trademark smile i am going back to where my friend is and i was still hiding in the shop, then i saw her walk towards the shop so i decided to hide, but maybe if i had actually appeared with irina, she wouldnt think it was me. yeaa. so me and irina then hid in the shop and so we peeked our head our and we saw *XUYAN with this old lady where we thought she was *XUYAN mother. but to realise it was donor, yea. then we hid back in the shop, then finally came out, she was gone. yup. not outside mango, uh-huh. so me and irina got this cab and told the uncle to make one round, round isetan, and she was back to collecting her money infront of mango. yeaa. we went back to kim seng cc for training.

~ i am all about you, you in your school attire, your pe t-shirt and that light blue skirt, that prefects tag and your 2 moles, 1 on your nose ,the other by the side of your nose. everything about you, so beautiful, your tracks shoes too, stunning grey and orange. *XUYAN your all that i ever want, all that i can ask for. nothing more.

----------

yeaa. so got back la.. in the cab me and irina was like just quarelling how to get there yea. bout how she could be a professional stalker when she grows up. haha!*winks* yea. i was so full of energy and excitement, i was like just chasing shuttles around yeaa. i felt so retarded. yeaa. many stuff happened la.. but i refuse to blog about it, so embarrasing. haha! then had the tyffswr. and that means tom yum fried fish soup with rice. haha! alll i did was talk about *XUYAN yeaaa. then here i am at home. all smelly and stuff. what i can do, i was sweating. haix. haha!! anyway i feel pretty glad for myself. and wee kim wee is coming and SCGS is playing, me and irina is FRIGGING paiseh. dont wish to play, both of us. the sad thing now i that ME and meiyi are the anchor doubles. yeaaa. haha. irina, its alright. you die also nevermind. *winks.
----------the end of it all----------

i just read a blog. http://kuaile.blogspot.com its not jealousy that is going over me, but its the team unity, if people from basketball show so much unity, why cant we? if their badminton team can also show so much support for each other, why cant we. if they can hide their unity problems, why must we make ours so obvious?

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/24/2004 07:36:00 PM

but i do.

Friday, April 23, 2004

you dont know.

heyyy

the day was like. smashing hahah! i cant remember, yeaa.. school was ok. yeaa. assembly had some stupid dance thing. frigging retarded. dnt was worst. i was just being plain irritating. at least i was participating in class. yeaa. i gave so many rite answers. hahah! i so guai. lol. maths i also listened haha except for some parts. aiya. mind just drifted away to scgs.

bout the times i just cried for nuts. the time i threw a frigging temper. the time i embarassed myself and the time i just tried to made myself heard. with everybeat of her heart, mine just beats faster. when i had my first word with her, i just got so excited. why is it when you see someone you like so much, you get all excited your heart beats faster, your actions and your attitude towards your friends or someone changes when they are around.

yeaa. ok..survivor is so unbelievable. shi ann is like a loner with a SEXyy yeaa. she got her immunity and she got a lil cocky, if only *she was just like her, if only. i dont like boston rob. nehh. i dont like everyone in this survivor except shi ann and lex i think? yea. i like tina weason too. sweet. haha! alicia is a lil cocky as well. good thing she is out. ahaha! so eeeyer. she thinks she's frigging great. and i think lex's new hair is darn SEXXYYY. haha!

if someone you barely even know were to like you, how'd you feel.
now i think i know how you feel.
----------
please believe me when i say i do, i mean it
i dont say i do and mean i dont.
----------
baby- your all that i want.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/23/2004 11:02:00 PM

but i do.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

you dont know.

heyyyy

didnt update yesterday, was too friggin tired, and my sis was havng tuition, so i guess you understanddd, hahaha yeaaa. the laptop was with my dad, so i cant use it. yeeaa. so now, here i am blogging. lalala~ the days went by well?? hahaha i have no idea why. i feel so stressed, but i like it. yeaa. softball sucks. yeaa. not that its very bad or what. i just dont like the fact that i get bullied by miss quek, she frigging pissed today. i cam late for training. she was like, gwen come and pitch, its not my job to pitch. it was a sarcastic remark, i trained for about an hour and 30 minutes... yea. about there. ahahah!we had funn. i suppose. my batting is getting a lil better too. hahaha its going higher and further. haha. badminton was frigging fun tooo.. hahah. i played i think 4 matches.. boyy was i tiredd. haha! did i mention that miss quek batted a ball and it went thru my legsss. haha. it was so funny. it got almost everyone cracking, and rachel tanlaughs at anything she tinks its funny *bleah* haha! yeaa. anyway my 4 matches was hysterical. yeaaa. first i was playing well, then not so well and all my nonsense, usually my first game sucks, then the 2nd gets better the third remains the same, the 4th i start to slow down lil, but of course i can hit the ball, unless i am not distracted, cos after my 4th to 5th match, i start to lose concentration with little things around me, well.. THATS JUST ME!! yeaaa.

----------
have you ever fell in love
that it only makes you want to cry?
have you ever fell in love with the world's most beautiful person
that it makes you want to be just like them
have you ever tried over and over again
that all you can do is try all over again?

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/22/2004 07:29:00 PM

but i do.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

you dont know.

hahaha. shong jong bong. its so INSANE. hahaha. class has resumed to being always that and alll. hahaha.and i just cant stand miss chan. nuh-uh. no more. its driving e insane. today was your nationals, i wished i could go, prolly it be over by the time i can ACTUALLY go yea.. class. its just so whacked, all those teachers are so worried for us, and all the while we are still talking among ourselves, yeaa. maths is sucha nehnehnienie subject,uhhh.. yea, but the beautiful eye candies in my class are always a big help in cheering me up, yeaa.. like,ra,fangzi,maryanne,nat and a few more but definitely not asha and qiu yan, its getting a lil on my nerves k. errrghh.hahaha... yeaaa. kylie is more or less an eyecandy, what can we do? shes eyecandy material. *winks* hahaha. shushan also. eyecandy
material.. hahaha. tml i am having training. thats so cool. she is also having training, hmmm. i think well... it she doesnt i also understand why.. 'o' levels. rightt. yeaa. i heard that they are playing in the wee kim wee, how i
wished that she could be there.

it all started with something.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/20/2004 09:42:00 PM

but i do.

Monday, April 19, 2004

you dont know.

heyyy

i need to get some m.cs cos. i never go for anythinggg.. so much hwk.but i never do. haha! training tml i think aiya. i lost touch with the world. but who caress. ahahah! aiya.. today. super. tiring? i dont know why.. hahaha!

-------------------
you are the fire burning
and shining brightly
in this heart
-------------------

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/19/2004 07:49:00 PM

but i do.

Saturday, April 17, 2004

you dont know.

HELLO!

haha
ytd had sports day, yupp.wAS so cool. hahah! when i was throwing my discus it was so funny lorrr. a lot of people dont know how to throw then so kns.! eeeyer.. hahaha! then yushan throw very got style. haha! then somemore throw so far. everyone was jealous. me too. yeaaa. then i had to throw my last discus cos i had to get my shot putt award. haha! bronze. my discus i threw 13.52m. thats was the furthest. then eunica suay suay kana 2nd she beat yushan lorr. kns. if not yushan 2nd, so 1st and 2nd might have been ignatius. so. whtvrr it is la.. then went ta seoul garden to eat.. me, steffany,ra,debbie,maryanne and louise. they paid lorr. it was supposed to be my treat but whtvr la. me and steff had to get money from her uncle. and she was so embarassed by ME! my head got hit by the train door. hahah! when we got there, they were already eating.haha! then ltr and pangg and zenn came. so KNS! zenn sat next to me. SUPER FOS!! thosee 3 sitting on the other side kept teasing me!! FOS!!! KNS!! wah lauu.. i was so maluated lorr. because of them, i kept shouting and laughing so loudly lor... i AM SUPER MALU!! next time dont want to go already la!! haha!then we wen walk walk. hahaha. walk here walk there. total idiots. ya.. at cine outside got all some soccer thing we embarrassed ourselves. haha! then we went off lorrr. when we were leaving. i saw TANIA haha! so now i have the school badge, AND DAMN! I FEEL GOOD seriously i think shes got a new stead or something.haha! shall go and find out, then went to primary school with maryanne and ra.bluffed the teachers about maryanne being grace lim en dian. hahah! kns! then went maryanne's house. maryanne's mum sure is nice! hahaha! maryanne was being super retarded lor. haha! what her, soon to be yet to be going to be too famous hairstylists and all her, if we fly to los angeles to look for her to beg her to cut our hair she might just consider. so IDERT. haha! then she destroyed my hair. i was like screaming RAVINDER! HAHA! so kns! then my mum picked me up from maryanne's house, then she went to see the interior of the house, my mum gave ra a lift. so nice huh? haha! today sucked. ya.. nothing happened i am just using this new laptop attached to some wireless surf thing, so i can actually be eating downstairs while the modem is upstairs, but i now happened to be in my study room cos i am charging the laptop. hahaha!

------------------------------

my life feels incomplete without you,
i dont sense you around me anymore.
i still love you though,
i just cant seem to accept the fact that your no longer there.
XUYAN, iloveyou`

------------------------------

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/17/2004 06:56:00 PM

but i do.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

you dont know.

my day sucked. ya. it sucked. it was terrible. i dont know why i started to cry during history. miss vino was talking bout loving yourself and how you should love yourself and i just started crying. like how horrid is that. yuck. was so upset la.. then during badminton. it was super screwed la. thanks to me. yea. and another person. yea. after that was super affected la.. sat at the stairs cried. saw chermin she cried. so she asked me to go softball. so i was nice and went with her, then miss quek wanted me to do pitching so i did. then i just couldnt focus. so i threw the ball over the cage so i had to pick. yeaa. some how i had to cry. yea. i cried, walked back and miss quek was like. are you ok? gosh. she was giving a pep talk and i was crying silently. i feel so hopeless. miss vino talked to me, it was so crappy la. she was talking and i was crying. she started talking about her strawberrry milk cow, the more she made me laugh, the more i cried. it was stupid, i was rolling all over the canteen. then i went home la. i stopped at redhill and waited. and waited. i wrote a postcard, yea. a long wan.. my handwriting was small. real small. less then font size 8. haha! i think 7trains went by. yea. one with my sister inside. i was waiting for her, seems. that the reason i cried during history was cos of her, i didnt love myself. but i loved her. and i still love her. i cried over every little thing today. i hope i dont get too emotional tml. its my discus finals. and i've got a bronze medal! ((: proud my myself.

GO IGNATIUS!

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/15/2004 11:13:00 PM

but i do.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

you dont know.

hahaha. i didnt blog for 1 day so yea.. i miss my darling so much. so now i am touching it all over. lalala~ its my computer! *kapish* aiyaa. very siann. had wanton mee for dinner. lol. training was fun lor.. i dont know whyy. maybe cos charlene was just being real mean!! EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE THE VICE CAP YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THAT TO ME! i cant believe her! crap! she starting hitting shuttles. and 2 hit my ass. 1 missed my right boob by 3 inches. hahaha! sick eh? yea.. she hit my head too. and as fro kellie. i have no idea what she did. but the shuttle went thru my hairr. the coach suan me lor. so i suan him back. my service to perfect he cannot hit. LOSer LA! haha! yeaa. during class. not much happen la.. kns. ya. the coach say i flirt with yossie lorrrr. CRAP LOR!!! EEE YUCCKKK I WONT FLIRT WITH HER LORRR. YUCKK. and all the sec1s started attacking me. lol. haha!. i am so nice and they are so mean to mee.*cries** yea..
uh huh. am so bored at home. maria didnt come to school today. so sad. maria. must rest k. if you cant come to school tomorrow. then dont come. later lou zai in class. haha!

have you ever looked me in the eye to find out your reasons, it doesnt affect you one bit to me it does, i dont need you to sit down to reflect cos it aint your fault neither is it my fault, in fact its not my fault. i've tried to forget you. but when the moment i said i forgot you or lost my love for you, an answer shoots back. saying. are you sure? cos, i still love you. the day i wrote in my blog that i dont love you anymore, it was shocking to just see you the next day. now that you are in the wee kim wee cup. are we gonna meet? are you even going to play? i wish. i hope.

.when can i call you mine?.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/14/2004 10:05:00 PM

but i do.

Monday, April 12, 2004

you dont know.

ok.. today was a lil off la.. was so lethargic in class. for nuts. i have art. and seriously think my project members are super pissed. or they know that i am just hopeless at art. =). lessons were so unbelievable. i managed to cheat my way thru history. i dint finish A VERY LITTLE BIT and she didnt catch me. phewwwwwwww. haha!-_-" aiya thruout the lessons was reminiscing bout the past. bout how i drove myself, insane. how i drove my grades to, suffer. so yea. i thought about it. but i realized. i did it for a reason. but i dont know if there was any good outcome to it. cos. so far. THERE ISNT mid year is coming. i cant seem to concentrate. i am so flighty nothing's getting in to my head. lol. i feel WHACKED had softball. and i think i should really just leave the team and return my jersey; or should i just get it over with. lol. haha. i just learnt a new word. abhor. haha! it means detest. so now. i shall use it. i abhor being the pitcher in softball. ((: hahaha!.

[[/*-i miss you, it never occurred to me that. i could never be able to have you. i already know that its true, i can never have you, but will you let me try? even if we are not together, can we remain as friends?

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/12/2004 10:00:00 PM

but i do.

Saturday, April 10, 2004

you dont know.

so i woke up today. all the dreams i had, about you. scared all the wits inside me, i was scared. it was a few bad dreams, i saw you in hospital. it was my fault that you were there, i went to visit you on the day you were supposed to be discharged, i went there. you had already left. i was scared. the nurse told me that you had already left with your friends. to avoid me. the word avoid me strucked me. so deep. i couldnt forget. i cant seem to forget. this love is too strong. its too deep, why do i feel this way. if you dont care. if i was ever alive. is this just my fantasy. or is it, what they call fate. where you will meet again. why cant it be fate. i changed. i dont like. lss nor ky. i only love you. YOU

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/10/2004 12:36:00 PM

but i do.

Friday, April 09, 2004

you dont know.

i just came back from clementi macdonalds not very long ago. i went passed the train station. its the not the train station which had the biggest impact on me. cos. it had nothing to do with you i am sad. i want to cry. but i shant. cos. i can never cry. when i want to, i cant. when i dont, i have to. imissyousomuch. you will never know what you actually meant to me, i take things for granted. everybody thinks so too, but towards. you i wont. if i have you. i wont either. iwantyou. i really do. you wont know what you mean to me. because you aint me i miss you. why cant you look me back in the eye. i want to see you again. i'll do anything. please. is it true that it is fate. we met again. i dont know. i dont want to think about it. its just so sad. I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER HOW. till you tell me personally that you do not like me or something, then i'll stop, i respect you. i really do.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/09/2004 11:27:00 PM

but i do.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

you dont know.

ok. i am going to be truthful. i am going to admit. i am not straight

XUYAN:

i saw you today. i saw you in the mrt. and i dont know what time. I WISHED I KNEW. I REALLY DID. you know. you will never know how i feel cos i love you. i lied when i told my friends that i liked you
and that if i were to like someone. it doesnt mean i have to stead someone. yea. i lied. i drived myself crazy over you. i had to do it. i wanted to be with you. i wanted to see you everyday. your smile. so charming. i cant forget. you are always smiling.i love you. for your smile. for your attitude towards the game. to every single thing about you.i cant have you, i will always dream about you. i will. i have never loved someone as much as you. i had never loved someone this much till i drove myself insane. till i had to talk to teachers.i lied about you. i cut myself. about you. not for you. but about you. cos. all i had in my mind was you. i wanted to be truthful to you. but i didnt know how to.cos. i never had the guts to do anything. when i saw you i wanted to cry. but i had be strong. i couldnt cry. cos. if i were to cry. you. and magdeline you know that i really love you and miss you. so much. its true. i love you so much. i really do. if we cant be together, can we still be friends? please. i have never been so sincere to someone before. cos i really want to cherish you.
.I STILL LOVE YOU.
ANDREA DONG.:
thank you very much if i hadnt walked with you. i wouldnt have gotten to see her.

NIKKI.:
. thank you for spotting me at the mrt station. or i wouldnt have been in the same cabin as XUYAN. thank you so much...

my day. has never been better. all the pains in my leg. disappeared. the moment i saw XUYAN in the mrt. yes. magdeline was pointing towards me i saw. she remembers me? and XUYAN turned around to look at me. i feel so honoured. i saw you for maybe 3- 4 minutes? i have no idea. you got out. everyone was squeezing their way out. i walked out too. and you turned back. you smiled i wanted to melt. i love you i still do. then i ask magdeline if she was from scgs. she acted as if she didnt know me. wah lao. she can remember me. i am honoured. haiz. ya. after that. she got of at bouna vista. i was still with, felissa? and felizza? haha! han wei. la... ok.we talked so i told them everything. thanks a lot. sec1s understand me more. thank you. i love you 2! haha. well. i wished i remembered. its the best time of my life. thank you. so much.

GOD:

thank you. lord. thank you. thank you. for giving me the chance to see xu yan again. maybe you didnt support it. but thank you for allowing me to see her again. dear lord. please bless her. cos. she means a lot to me.. lord. thank you.

have you ever loved somebody so much
it makes you cry ?
have you ever needed something so bad
you can't sleep at night ?
have you ever tried to find the words
but they don't come out right
have you ever, have you ever ?

have you ever been in love
been in love so bad
you'd do anything to make them understand
have you ever had someone steal your heart away
you'd give anything to make them feel the same
have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
but you don't know what to say
and you don't know where to start

have you ever found the one
you've dreamed of all of your life
you'd do just anything to look into their eyes
have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
only to find that one won't give their heart to you
have you ever closed your eyes and
dreamed that they were there
and all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

what do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby ?
what do I gotta say to get to your heart ?
to make you understand how I need you next to me
gotta get you into my world
cos baby I can't sleep tonight

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/08/2004 07:33:00 PM

but i do.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

you dont know.

ok. had training. i didnt train. i watched them to all those stupid stretching. and i havent sew my belt. mrs poh. was talking to me. bout it. miss chan too. shucks. i dont want la... lazyy. i wanna go home anyway. haiz. i doubt she can do it. no. i doubt she would do it. but she claims. she did it. haiz. i get myself into so much trouble.. training was ok. i havent finish my history. wasted so much time. kcuf.! this brain i have now. is ARTIFICIAL. EUURGH.! i feel. idiotic.

you:.
thank you so much. thank you. does that mean you are no longer angry at me? or is it just a show you had to put in front of many people. i dont know. but i hope. for the best.

xuyan:.
i am sorry. i am sorry for not being faithful like how i said i will remain. i know what i said 2 months ago. no. 1 month and 28days ago. i promised to not let go. but some how. i feel that. i have already lost you. that i have lost you somewhere. and i cant find you anymore, just how much i try i just cant seem to find you. you might just say. i am finding for you with my mouth.? it not. i am using my mind. and somehow. i lost you. maybe its been a show i have been putting for a long time. now that i cannot take it anymore. that i just want to burst and cry. i wanna cry. i still want to love you but i cant seem to find that heart whiched loved you so much anymore. i still love you. but i dont know how to find that love that was so strong. imissyou.butdoyouthinkyouwilleverfindout?idoubtso.cosyouwouldntcareifidropdeadinfrontofyou.YOU WILL REMAIN MY FOREVER ONEANDONLY WHO COULD WORK MIRACLES

ky:.
you dont know me. but i think i had the hots for you during efl. i dont know why.

lss:.
your nice. but i dont know why they say you aint. your cute looking but i dont know why they say you aint,i have no idea. but thank you. thank you for being nice to me when i didnt really know you, thank you for taking time to get to know me, i am not going to take it to fast, i aint. i am going to wait. i am. maybe i want you, maybe i dont i think you are all that bad.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/07/2004 10:26:00 PM

but i do.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

you dont know.

hey...

i am blogging after 2 days? i dont know. yea. went to jtc. played with some julia. hahaha. from china. i dint quite understand her english. and all my replys to her was like. ok. and i dont know. hhahahah! haiz. very tired la.. the day was ok. had art.. and miss ng was talking bout her life story. and she was like. very sad hor? y'all never cry.? so evryone faked their cries. haha! was plain stupid la. i have to get those art stuff. by friday. lol. my dnt also? gosh. so many stuff need to complete by the week. fructose i forgot history. pooohhhh. i am beat. i think shu shan i chio... hahaha. i like her tan. so jealous *big grin* yea.. yesterday was horrible.. i dont know what i did. but i know she is pissed at me. yea. its sad. but what to do. you cheer up k. i didnt mean to say that. =.)? yea... thats just so cute! like youu.. haha! yea. back to the shu shan thing. yea. and SHE WEARS BRACES do you know what that means?? hahah! shhhhh! dont say k! somebody say. tanya like. kimberley. i dont know. i think their just good frens. somebody says that. chermin likes kimberley. i dont know. and somebody says candice likes kimberley. i dont know. and i dont believe. *bleagh* haha!. aiya. the heats was ok. i think i am going to die tml. cos. miss chan i going. gwen why did you not turn up for remedial blah blah blah. and all her nonsense.EUURGHH hahah. i threw my furthest at 8.60. kucf... wasted lor!

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/06/2004 09:55:00 PM

but i do.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

you dont know.

i feel super agitated.i've realized that one day without you. your entertain, your smile, your words? its so boring. i used to live with many days not talking to you. and all. but i now i seem to be captivated by you. your words. your entertain. your just so fun to be with. maybe i am thinking too far.but what can i do. i am creative ya. whatever. so i had training. was cool. i did some defending and smashing thing. and i am terribly sorry. smashed jia liangs. ding dongs i swear i did not aim!! arghh.! all jia jun said to me was. so naughty horr. aim there. my defence. is. TERRIBLE i just cant seem to defend the shuttle to the net. haha!. i played a singles with jia liang, lost. 15-8? or
15-9. its a achievement k. unbelievably. ((: yea.. played a doubles. me and vivian vs. my sis and maxine. they had the
damn advantage. but they still lost. interesting. haha! it was fun la. stupid uziel. dont want to play singles with me. do all i could do is bt him 7-love.which i did. haha! what a loser haha!. i am so mean.. he is not a loser. he quite fun.! (; lalala. anyway i am off.

pee signing off.

just love pee. haha!

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/04/2004 10:40:00 PM

but i do.

Saturday, April 03, 2004

you dont know.

congeniality

lol. today watched scooby doo with nat. super fun la!hahaa. had this cheesy dog. yum-i-licious. haha! i am PEE. haha! *you* are rectum! haha!. i am so siao.. haha!. aiyer. i feeling damn hyper! i see tata young. seth green is hot. in his lil nerdy way. and i am so un-organized. i lost scooby. cried. my eye got swollen. and my eye had a hell lot of pus came out of my eye in the morning.shucks. hmmm. i am so scared. i dont know why. PEE signing off. bye.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/03/2004 09:21:00 PM

but i do.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

you dont know.

pigs pigs pigs.

haha! smiles! i feel so tired. like. my whole body is aching! yups. yups. i threw the javelin. the trial during recess was ok.yea.. after school was scary.ya.. all the pro pro javelin throwers came lor. hui yu. azlinda, shi yun, so many more lorr. wahh.i so scared lorr. me and melanie. made it la.. mr francis said i should hold it properly. hold it tight and throw with all my might. he said. i could fight for the 3rd or 4th place. haha!.. discus and shot put it tml. i know i can do it. not. haha! discus i have confidence but not shot put.. i cant but. i just want to try. haha! lalala. shot put so heavy. i scared. me and maria doing shot put tml. i also have discus. i dont know anybody doing discus. so lonely. dont want! i like loner lidat.!. haha!. cca. was ok la.. shuccks. i think gwendolyn wee is damn acbc. lor.. aa. also. what the hell. laugh like some idiot. talk as if want to be cute, shout for no reason. make a lot of noise la. so idiotic lorr. cannot stand her lor. pisses the hell out of me.yuck. yuck.!

your going down,
down, for the world to see
4/01/2004 08:15:00 PM

but i do.