it should have went down this way

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

you dont know.

teachers. are.? unbelievable.! mr seng was supposed to bring the condom to schoo. but he didnt. he is just scared. haha! was walking back to class. miss quek saw me. and was like. where are you during trainings? if there is no pitcher what for train. you might as well write a letter to me to take you out of the team. so i am like. why not? i'll do just that. i am not scared of your threats. and the bloody sec1s think i have a crush on her?! THAT IS SO NOT TRUE!! why HER! yuck! hell yuck! miss chan didnt see me during maths. phew. i dint do the pattern thing.didnt go for maths remedial and didnt hand up some donation form. lost the frigging thing. then had history. it cheered me up a lil? i dont know. haha! waited for miss koh in class. and i was like. good afternoon miss koh. cos joanne walked in and was like. good afternoon girls.and the real miss koh. just came in from the back door. and kohila wrote this letter. to some michelle or something? and everyone was laughin insanely. ya. i laugh till i cried till i cough till i couldnt take it. i vomitted. so yuck lor. so i was isolated. they moved their tables some one metre away from me. *cries* cleaned up. had english. roy phang talked to me. he thinks he is damn cool. i am like. FUCK OFF. yuck.! i think your wife was blind to have married you?!?! you have no rights to come scold me. for thing i did not do. and did not plan to do. if you think i am scared of you. then you are wrong. cos. you can just fail me for all my english tests i have. cos. if i have a teacher like you. i aint going anywhere anymore. thinking of you just makes me wanna puke.**bleaghs**. miss goh think i am.*******. i am like. NO!! i am so not *******!!! ahhhh! whatever!

badminton chose their captain and v.captain. so out v.captain is charlene. which i think is a good choice. cos. she is the only 1 who can play. properly? in the 'c' div. and captain is katrina. ok. now.i am not saying that your choice of katrina for captain was bad. i am just thinking. its not that i am siding karen. or what right now. k. if you think that katrina is a good captain. then i agree with you. she might be a good captain. karen might be a good captain as well. so. i talked to someone abt captain chooosing. and i thought her school's method of doing it. is good.and wanted to tell you all about it. but. doing so might not help.. so. now you chose katrina. cos. she is a nice person. and shes got eq. ok. fair enough. you didnt choose karen cos some said. she sucks. she is a fucking gal. and whatever. i aint thaking sides. but maybe if you reconsidered. do you think you made the right choice. i am not saying katrina is a bad choice. but. it all
depends on who you choose.i have no rights to comment on your votes. i think i'll just shut up right. now..

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/31/2004 07:36:00 PM

but i do.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

you dont know.

today. wasss. funn? i dont know. thing happened in school. art was ok. except for eudodia ng ling ling.. picking on me FOREVER. hahaha.like what is it with her name? yuck.had history. so. yea.. she had to take 20 minutes of my recess!! haha! what nonsense. ok. heng she dint see. lotsa stuff. haha! or i would have. i dont know what.had chinese. ya. chinese is ALWAYS fun. we can always sleep and all.yeaa. wrote the letter.s ponning training tml. missed softball. cos. I DINT BRING MY STUFF. i have a reason. k! SHUCKS. hahaha.tml gonna get hell firing from chan pui chan. legend is always like this. pui. i'll blog ltr. cheerios.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/30/2004 05:49:00 PM

but i do.

Sunday, March 28, 2004

you dont know.

the day could not have gotten any worst. haha.i feel so dumb-ity-dumb. haha!training to day got me all hyper. and it got me a lil twisted.like my knee feels abused. haha! i dont know what i am talkin abt. 3 singles and 2 doubles. its couldnt have gotten any worst.evryone wasnt there. like the clique we had in badminton wasnt there. like. my sister. vivian and emily. training was so slack la. we dint do any drills. haha! heng ahh. my shoe was friggin un-comfortable. its new. pity pity. i wear the normal 1 next week. or maybe i shall wear the new one. aiya. whatever it is.haha~ i saw fishball. like after. 10923840328yrs.ok. i just saw her last week. fine! but i saw stacey after 1298348237493845387503498534583458902485034985 yearrsss. haha! i miss her soooooooo much! haha! she's just so adorable. yup. she seems to have. changed. and she know's the meaning of bung/butch and crooked hahaha.shes's from sjc. whatt. haha! i am not discriminating. k! hmmm. but she seems a lil crooked. herself. and michelle asked me this reallly really big question. haha! are you a butch? so i dint answer. i actually dont know the answer. i am quite niang niang chiang and you knowww. hahaaaa! well whatever it is la.. i am off to sleep, its getting late

why do you all hate each other so much.have you all forgotten why yanna quit. she quit cos of two reasons. 1. she quit cos she dint manage to get into express. nvm.
2. she quit cause there was no unity in the team in badminton. everyone is the same. why do you have to fight over NOTHING? if you thought it was she who spread things like that. go confront her. but not scream at her. if it really wasnt you then stand up for your rights. say it wasnt you. but dont raise your voices. if you hadnt known. STC BASKETBALL is very united, althought some may not like each other. but you can see the unity in them when they are playing. if you dont notice. we quarrel over every damn thing. and it sucks. cos. she doesnt like her. and her doesnt like she. its nonsense. why cant we just show others. that we are united?

my day brightened. when i saw you. it didnt mean anything. but. it was nice to know that. my sunshine was shining brightly at me. all though you might think i am corny and all. but. what i wrote to you 1 month 2 weeks 3 days, was true. every single that was in it was true.except for the part where i stated. that i wanted to be your friend. i was so wrong. but however. it turned sour.i lost all faith in myself over you. i needed help. but i couldnt get it. i tried my best to get it from you. but i lost. lost it all. now i want to find you. so that i can give it one more shot.. i know i can. but will you let me try.?

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/28/2004 10:05:00 PM

but i do.

Saturday, March 27, 2004

you dont know.

damn.

got tixs to the crez awards[-. why get so worked up?] and i aint going! what nonsense. nvm.

damn.

having a bbq at home and i have the wei qi steamboat thing. i am going for the steamboat thing and my eldest sister so IDERT. say i must bring my sister. if not i dont go. that is wayyy idert. lorrr.i think i might as well not go lorrrrr. its my fren's birthday so why cant i go ALONE! wooff. your just so jealous that you cant go. so stop making excuses on how i come back and all la! FUCKTARDS.

in the end i went. haha. we had fun. yup. a lot of fun. haha! i am going crazy. i bought so much chocolates and that digestive cookies. for nuts. haha!whtvr la.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/27/2004 03:42:00 PM

but i do.

Friday, March 26, 2004

you dont know.

today had loads of fun in town. yepp. its was cool. i shat elaborate. cos i've been a meanie to you-know-who-she-is. hahaha. sorry la.. so petty. hahaha! nv reply my msg. nvm. uh huh. ptc. i didnt go. i refused to go. i dont want to know what they talked boutt. yupp.. tml is wei qi's birthday. i havent gotten anything for her. haha!.. her steamboat thing should i go for the guides campfire or her birthday. i dont know. i will see tml. hahaha!!

if you are thinking if i have already forgotten you. your wrong. so wrong.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/26/2004 11:24:00 PM

but i do.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

you dont know.

I DO NOT WISH TO ATTEND SCHOOL TOMORROW. its ptc. haiz.. miss chan's got plenty to complain to my mum.but i improved alot from last. year. haiz. i dont want to know anything..the day could not have gotten any worst. maybe i am expecting too much from a handful of not disciplined softballers although i came late. i know we had to practice on our own? why cant we do it on our own? must we always have miss quek with us. we have to train among ourselves. we should have self-discispline.i dont want to say anymore. but i hope you all are having a great time slacking. and then losing in the nationals. its not my fault. i tried. did y'all sometimes i really wonder if the team is a we, or me

misa wasnt to happy with me when i came up for badminton.. she was like. go for first cca not happy dont come here and throw tantrum. which is quite true. i was SO PISSED but wei qi cheered me up. but made me upset. hmm. i left early i was to tired to play. and there was no one to train with me except the sec1s. the training is gonna end soon but its none of my business.

i read what i shouldnt have. maybe its true maybe its not. but i dont know. if it is. i like to say thank you. i wanna know more. will tell me abit more?

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/25/2004 04:34:00 PM

but i do.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

you dont know.

hieeeeeeeeee.

today i feel. funny. haha. but nvm.. i think john stevens is cute.hahaha training was ok. tell you all a secret! gwen's taking part in discus javelin and shot put. HAHAHA! anyway. i love the world. now. YAY!~

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/24/2004 10:54:00 PM

but i do.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

you dont know.

the day. went by ok? ya. uh huh. dont know what to say. but i got my jersey 3. baby. 3!! haha! i am wearing it for training. getting used to it. haha! ;P so today. sucked. i cut myself. again. and i think i feel good. i dont know why. but. ya. and some people. stop acting as if you care. cos i know you dont. all you want to do is get me into trouble. i can never stay angry at you. maybe cos. we used to be really close. whatever it is. i suck. i am having training. tml. cant wait for the new coach. but. mr lee is still coaching. whatever

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/23/2004 10:10:00 PM

but i do.

Monday, March 22, 2004

you dont know.

today was screwed. i wrote a damned story for my engilsh compo la.. it was ca. and all i got was 25/50. i already knew i would get that bad. but i didnt expect him to come after me so seriously. what is wrong with the contents. its a normal life of a teenager. you go around the school you ask one of the students. anyone. ask them do they know anyone who does what refers in my story. you go round. i am sure you will get 8 out 10 students saying yes. its my compo. not yours. you have not right to label it as wrong.. is it wrong to cry. i dont know why you keep picking on me. in softball. all the names you ever call is mine. cant you call someone. else. now my compo sucks. can you just tell me that its not goo.d why must. you pick on me? why must you get my parents to sign it. why do you even want them to read it.? its a darn compo. its a fictional sotry. do you even think its true. WTH. i've got nothing to say. TO YOU

at least. it was nice during history. miss vino was all warm and fuzzy. hahaha. gwen dont talk nonsense. she made me think i got 73 for history. HMMMPFH! but i go 67. and i am proud of it. i seriously thought i would have done much worst. haha. for my mcq. i got 20/20. yay! well the rest wasnt so far off? OK. it was. haha! but at least i passed. when that nun was around. she barely even let me pass. even 1 mark also dont want to give. CHEAPSKATE. ahaha!. miss chan criticised me as usual i didnt know we had to do those papers for hwk. but who cares. she gave me up to tml. but there's no maths. loser. and i owe her maths book1. shhhhh!. i think i am going back to my old ways. ARHHHH! no!!! HAHA!I passed my maths. -surprise surprise- 56. not bad at all. but one of the last few. YI YOU got 99 haha! yiyou. give me some marks. la..dont selfish good things must share hor?? haha!! i passed my lit too. i cant rmb whats the score. i think 57? ya. chinese. its needless to sayy... 47. haiz. -_-" haha!

softball has been postponed to somewhere is late june- mid july. due to uncalled for circumstances. i have no idea at all. i wasnt listening to the talk she was saying

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/22/2004 10:00:00 PM

but i do.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

you dont know.

i have it all planned out noww. just hoping it would workk. are you working. pls workkk. its between my life and my death. will it reach you? hopefully.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/21/2004 08:44:00 PM

but i do.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

you dont know.

Gosh! The wind started blowing. And its so strong. I am so tired. I bathed and all. Had this chalet thing. haha! We had. no fun. LOL. I don't know la. But its damn funny la. Leroy was being some gay. He was gaying with a Lil boy. no older then 10. haha! Timothy was insane la. He was commenting on how the gals cooked. You should have seen how we cooked. We were so organized. we could have done a better job if the heat wasnt so high rite pearleen? haha! she kept adding more and more charcoal that we had to remove the charcoal from the pit. we placed it on the floor.we tried pouring water on to the pit. the flame went off. But after 3secs it came back on. haha. did a lot of catching up with irina. walked to macdonalds with her. then walk back. saw liane and pangg. haha! soo cute. ltr watched resident evil. haha! so scary. irina was screaming. i also screamed cos i saw a lizard. haha! so lame... mr lee came to do spot check. found that the guys were still there. He chased them away.cos tml they having training. a lot of zai la. oh ya! dominic wants pearleen's no. so she gave it. haha! wow. i think my new hair is nice. oh whatever.

forget all i have said. i just this useless piece of crap that never keeps her damn promise. the problem does not lie with anyone. only GWEN. she caused evry problem they had. and she cant solve it. she still doesnt know what to do. when an apology isnt enough what must you do? i dont know. i wishh i would have just left. and made everyone happy.not only is your presence disgusting.its irritating.useless piece or crap. its nobody's but GWEN'S fault. .

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/20/2004 01:51:00 AM

but i do.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

you dont know.

the day sucked. it just sucked. but it rocked too. i think we're gonna give those softballers a run for their money. haha! not that we are really good or what. but thank karen for having faith in me. believeing that i can actually do it. i chose my jersey no. liao.. oh i said that. aiya. alot of things happend today but to lazy to mention. just too lazy to mention. i need my darling now.

i miss you so much darling.

and to whoever scratched princess val's guitar. i am gonna whack your ding dongs. bleah.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/18/2004 12:24:00 AM

but i do.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

you dont know.

la dee dum. today damn fun la.. very retarded. had lit. piang. i read ra's blog. i agree with her totally.
she called us bimboes lorr.. haha! but i know i am not. cos i am not. lol. damn tired la.. talking to some pple now la.. my sister is on the phone and she shouting. no. SCREAMING. ahha! shall i wax my hair? haiz. i mean tml la.. haha! mr lee will see my DAMN FUNkY new hair. haha! bhb. maria just broke my racquet string. wich means i cant play. cries. but its the green racquet. aint my problem. shucks. haha! anyway i dont have much to blog. but i know i am gonna get tanner tmr. bye

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/16/2004 10:50:00 PM

but i do.

Monday, March 15, 2004

you dont know.

i miss you now. i miss you so much. why did i have to let you go? although i never loved you. i dont know why i miss you so much. you were always there for me. but i never looked at you. maybe till today. if i hadnt realised it. you would still be by myside. together with me. it hurts so much to have actually let you go.it was so painful. i was brought to tears immediately.although you were so near to me. it was so distant for me to look at you. now i miss you dearly.

i miss you. my last toe-nail on the right foot haha!

so retarded rite.. suddenly. my toe-nail was coming of and i was.. er.. i dunno what to do. so i went jumping round the house screamin laughing and also crying. MY TOENAIL'S COMING OFF! haha! it was very lame. hahaha! my dad wanted to scream at me. i could have betted on that. had softball this morning and im never wearing that sleevelss pe t-shirt. it cuts into my underarm. so i was pitching doing the windmill and all.it cut my arm. and its all rad *cries* haha. but i finally got to play a game. but not how i want it to be. i kept pitching ang pitching and pitching. i hate that. cant you just leave me on the 2nd base?!?! rawrr. if i give someone a free walk on monday. im gonna quek you till you cant quek no more. but i dont know how. haha! lame.chose my jersy number. you know what it is?!?! 3 haha! im so retaaarded. haiz.. i wanna go out with maria tml but i have english remedial. phang purposely. phang me to phang for phangy remedial like what is his phangy problem!. i have lit. with the koh person tml. haiz. im gonna die. what for have holiday. might as well go back to school. nonsense. CANT STAND YOU!!

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/15/2004 08:18:00 PM

but i do.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

you dont know.

hey hey..

had training. and seriously i think 1 week without badminton caN KILL.i missed the balls. haha. but played a few games. maybe i was better playing games then stroking. i forgot how to net-cross*cries*haha! i saw sonja. its been a long time. haha. she used to scold when we played. haha! she said. you have to run. haha. she was mean. but nice.. but we got used to our partnership. she began to feel that winning isnt evrything. haha!. thanks to me.. shes changed. i couldnt regconise her. AT ALL. but she could rergconise me even though i got a hair cut. lol. she grew her hair. and rebonded it. its obvious. haha. she pretty. too bad she doenst play with us anymore. missed the good ol` days. she scolds me. and i'll be at her back. saying. blah blah blah. haha!

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/14/2004 11:12:00 PM

but i do.

you dont know.

i am leading myself to false hopes. its just stupid. you think since you can find 1 of them why cant you find another.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/14/2004 12:26:00 PM

but i do.

Saturday, March 13, 2004

you dont know.

heyzz.

got back from camp bout 2hrs ago. and i am here to blogg. i am all cleannn haha!!! so tired.lol. so much happend. during camp lorr. does who missed it damn suay lorr. our instructor alicia, for
rafting damn bimbotic lor. but shes nice. i suppose. she kept talking bout menses.then got another instructor. amy. damn sexy lor.. haha! wear the fbt shorts. then can see the legs. then she very tanned. very nice. got a good figure too. hor nat.? haha! you first look at her. like want to slap you lidat. but she quite nice. very sweet. english very good not like alicia. so cheena. ahha! but both of dem damn cute. the amy talked to me. haha! talked abt the water bottle. she said she saw this bottle. yellow top cap and transparent grey container. she said the bottle. very pretty haha! wasted. she got same bottle as me. but colour nicer.had the campfire. without the bonfire. haha! then had are
you hot?! stc style. my goodness out of 8 classes only 2 made it.2c and 2d. 2c was beatrice. and i
think she was really hot. like. shes got a figure. shes got the looks. judges weer BloWNed AWaY
haha! eunica was like so mei po. haha! those matchmaker. very lame lor.she sang this really
crappy chinese song and got in lorr. must see the photos to see how eunica looked. super comical
btwn the both of them guess who won?! YOUR ABSOLUTELY wrong lor. its eunica who won. not
beatrice. she was super hot like. ya. short, shorts. with a tank top. not like eunica. the clothes all
started to drop but she had worn a t-shirt inside. haha! oh yeahh. realised that a lot of girls in
our school. our maybe level had quite a hot bod. like. ya. theres a figure. like cheryl goh she cuts quite a good figure.beatrice. tan. i figured those ytd and got a lot more. but i forgot their names. and today i figured that kylie yong actually has quite a nice figure. ya. although she isnt that pretty. shes still pretty and she's got the figure. as for pei yi. she's got looks. a bit of figure. her upper bod not so nice. lower nicer. hahaha!! aniwae. i am tired.i am gonna rest. and i have already uploaded pictures
of the efl camp for viewing.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/13/2004 01:22:00 PM

but i do.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

you dont know.

its all now a fragment in my life. a fragment so big. its so easy to remember. instead of keeping it as a forgotten memory which i should.all i know is that i am contradicting myself. i am changing my ever so peaceful world in to something different. i dont know why. but i dont like it either.i should just have my self tinned and sealed and sent to a dung factory to end my life because of over inhalation of bacteria or maybe contradiction i've lied about how i actually like her to the person who was ever so willing to listen. i am sorry. but i dont like to say much. i have lost all. its all because of my contradiction thats why i land myself up. in my situation. a contradiction so deep. i never know who i truly love,loved and is now loving. i am sorry. but i know i should tell the truth.

to you xuyan

i dont like to mention your name in front of my friends. they think i am overly obsessed with you. but its not true. if they were in my shoes they would know. nobody took time to really understand me. my parents dont know me. they think they do. but actually they dont. if i had a choice. to have one person by my side right now. it would be you.because. i really want to know you. and let you know my feelings for you. its just a feeling i have for you. its strong. you will never know how strong it is cause you dont know me. you dont know me to understand what i can do. behind a very thick skin like mine.in that letter i wrote to you. i did consider your feelings. i wasnt abrupt over it. i tried to tell the truth. but no matter how i were to put it. the truth would never come out. cause. i was scared. i was scared to hurt your feelings. to hurt your pride. to damage your impression of me. if i could choose the outcome of life. it would be complex. but still. in a way. it would be my way of life. i cried in front of my level that day.i cried because i had told a lied about you. i didnt want to. but i cant. i had to tell lie. i cried infront of many other singaporeans that day. i cried because i had doubt myself. as i cried. i repeated one phrase over and over again. "sccoby's never going to smile at me again" maybe i was right maybe i was wrong.i did my best that day. but i still couldnt. bring myself to see that. you couldnt even be bothered.i cried. cos you never smiled. at me. that day.its crazy crying over things so minute.see. this is how serious i am about you. i cried in front of my very own friends that day. i cried because i believed they could help. but i was wrong again. they were there. as my supporters. they are there to help me. to cheer me on. but not do things for me.you see. here its still lies. 5 letter. X.U.Y.A.N. i am not going to forget it. i have gotten into trouble on many counts.your coach. jillian. maybe sharmaine. they are not big problems. and they are still problems. yes. its scary. some 2 years your junior like you. but there is nothing wrong with me. in my eyes you are the only beauty that has ever reached me so near. and fast. and i still do. love you

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/10/2004 10:14:00 PM

but i do.

you dont know.

sipping on some sprite ice rite. now.. thinking bout how my day. went.it was absolutely disgusting.dont want to talk about it but it was disgusting yuck. i have nothing to say. morning suck`d i was this damn loner sitting we someone i known for a year. or so. but we rarely communicate. so . WOW! EducationForLife is tomorrow. if you were wondering. its EFL. not EPL. but EFL lasy year's EFl was good. it was perfect. for me. hahaha! this year its gonna be horrible. like. trust me.haha. had pre-camp today. made our flag. and i brought it home gonna tie it a bamboo pole. but out bamboo pole happen to be a lil TOO BIG
gosh. haha! im so excited. *wonders what the sec4s are doing* our flag sucks. but the grp
thinks its nice. so i have no say. im no group leader or whatsoever.i cant wait for the amazing race thingy. they make it sound as if its cool. lol. haha!! but i am really looking forward to the rafting and all. cos. i really want to get a tan. and i want to go home after that. to bathe that is. haha! i can
rmb the sports camp time. i wore this sports bra for the run. then it started raining real heavily.
and i was all sweaty from the activities b4. and my bra was totally soaked. and wet lorr. i went home. cos my mum picked me. i dint want to stay i wanted to go for the bdae party my dad. had.
so i bathed. and i had so no more SB i wanted to cry!! haha! i had to wear
back that sweat y stuff aha! so gross. nvm.dont know why i just spiked my hair. when i am at
home. like who does that when they are at home.its not vvery spikey but. its damn rough. haha! nvm... i going to go.. bye..

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/10/2004 05:38:00 PM

but i do.

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

you dont know.

i love xuyan
and germaine rawkz

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/09/2004 07:56:00 PM

but i do.

Saturday, March 06, 2004

you dont know.

harlow harlow..

im bored noww. so sleeepy.lalala. i had house practise today. and i have a feeling. they chose their runners and throwers already. haiz. missed out on the 2nd year already!! rawrr! should i call sharon chio. or tell them on the next house practice.the next house practice is in like 3 weeks? rawrr. haha! sports day is in 40 days. see the difference. gwen. its all ur fault. lala. had softball. but not really la.. we play among ourselves. yup.. i think im tanning a lot. like. ALOT. haha! going to take a nap. nice pic. eh?

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/06/2004 02:18:00 PM

but i do.

Friday, March 05, 2004

you dont know.

i love TONG!! haha!! so farni can! went to tbp. made a lughing stock out of ourselves. ok. i made the laughin stock outta them.. we went to some steamboat restaurant. then some pple. and suddenly. we changed our places. and we started laughin. and sooner or ltr the whole restaurant was laughin with us. the crescent girls. were laughin. still laughing. and maybe still laughin.class. sucked. i was laughing. then suddenly i cried.. wat on e a r t h was i doing. like. haiz. i cried for no apparent reason.ok. had an apparent reason.. maria broke my lil heart. it was like <3 and it became like < 3 *cries* she said shes not the greatest in the world. but memories of her make her the greatest better than COLLEEN. eee-yuck. im getting sick of that damn name. haaa.... sorry seh. pisss me off la. maria came over. told me evrything i wanted to knoe. RAWrrrs. heehee. ooh yeah. saw val. gan.. lalala~ she looks. ah-lianic. now. seriously. no offence la.. haha. the whole bball team knows her or something. ha!

i dint want to love. you.
i had to.
i dint want to lose you
i had to.
i dint want to forget you
but i have to
***
why is it when i fall in love for somebody.
i have to shed a tear.
i have to shed my blood.
***
i hate to say i love. you.
when i still love. her.
i hate to say i love. her.
when i love. you.
why is it so hard.
to tell you that i do.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/05/2004 09:30:00 PM

but i do.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

you dont know.

softball was ok today. saw what i had wanted to see ytd. actuallyitswasgood.
youstoodtherelikeyouwerenotalive.
youmadelilnoise.kindacuteduringtraining.wow.someonelikeyoukeepinglowprofileunbelievable.
butitsok.youseemnice((:

miss quek so mean!! she out to kill me!! and i know it!! dont lie! rahh! i cant pitch and you want me to pitch. im contented on 2nd base. better still on the bench! ha! i very lazy wann. lalala. tml i bring glove to play during recess. hee. i think i love softball. but badminton is still better. ((: although i suck at it. lalala~ im not a pitcher. i dont want to play competition. pls. dont do this to me! i had so much problems early last month. exactly last month. i had this problem. i feel in love. i dont want to fall in love again. i want to fall in love with her again and again.. i never want to stop loving her. its silly loving someone who doesnt even care about. doesnt even know you. except your name. your school and probably. ur age.
i still miss that dysfunksional idiot. its jealousy. she like her. and your jealous. why. x`y is still in this mind. its not it. i miss you.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/04/2004 09:13:00 PM

but i do.

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

you dont know.

i take that back bout softball. its does rock. but it rocks just a lil. ihateher.
onmynervesnowsheslikeairritatingwannabeidontwanttoseeherfortrainingtml.
maybeshesnotasbadasithink.
we'llseegwen.we'llsee.

I am a mountain
I am a tall tree
ooh I am a swift wind,
Sweepin' the country

I am a river,
Down in the valley
ooh I am a vision
And I can see clearly

If anybody asks you who I am
Just stand up tall
Look 'em in the face and say

I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up high
Hey I made it,
I'm the world's greatest

And I'm that little bit of hope
When my back's against the ropes
I can feel it
I'm the world's greatest

I am a giant
I am an eagle
ooh I am a lion
Down in the jungle

I am a marchin' band
I am the people
ooh I am a helping hand
I am a hero

If anybody asks you who I am
Just stand up tall
Look 'em in the face and say

I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up high
Hey I made it,
I'm the world's greatest

And I'm that little bit of hope
When my back's against the ropes
I can feel it
I'm the world's greatest

I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up high
Hey I made it,
I'm the world's greatest

And I'm that little bit of hope
When my back's against the ropes
I can feel it
I'm the world's greatest

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/03/2004 11:07:00 PM

but i do.

you dont know.

fuck this shit.
i wished i never joined softball
i never liked softball
it was all lies.
i hate it. i wish i could just say. I QUIT
but would she let me go?
i hate softball.
i hate this crap i've gotten myself into.
goodnight world.

+++

wish i never got to know the dysfunksional idiot.
i have grown physically attracted to you
should i tell you?
not now
x`y is still here
its not it
i miss you
i still do.

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/03/2004 11:00:00 PM

but i do.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

you dont know.

so boredd.. neh.. tired.. tml got training. i'll leave first. bye.

dang those test.

test test test test test

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/02/2004 10:39:00 PM

but i do.

Monday, March 01, 2004

you dont know.

HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO

feeling darn stupid now.lol. history test sucked. no. it was good. compared to chinese. i dint do 11 questions. like what in the world!! haha. but wtver it is. never really intended to pass. and if i really get called up by principal. im gonna explain what mr lee told us.aahahah! all planned out. eh. but im scared. suspension and all. like thats the only thing which really relaxes me. like. ya. haix.. dunno what to say la.. i neve touch my sc and maths textbook for the whole day. lorr. i think im really going to see the principal and all. and its not that i want to and all la.. haiya.. i do my art now la...

your going down,
down, for the world to see
3/01/2004 09:58:00 PM

but i do.